‘Tell us about any Hobbies and Interests that you have’
This used to be one of the common questions in job interviews, the kind of thing to add in the later section of the ‘Record of Achievement’ burgundy coloured leather folder from school , but as I was out yesterday, walking, bird watching, enjoying nature, I was thinking about how this has become a ‘hobby’ and ‘interest’ and how long I might do this for.
Why might I be thinking like this?
I guess I started to reflect on the amount of hobbies and Interests I have had in my life – and my relationship with them.
I sometimes think that I have gone from one hobby or interest to another quite alot in my life, and then i wonder whether thats the same for others, do other men just have one or two hobbies, and then stick with them for their whole lives?
Some hobbies I have needed to have because they helped me to exercise and stay healthy – they also kept me out of traumatic houses for a long period of time – So – Road Cycling – which I thought I would do forever, until I met English roads, which hold no joy after cycling in Scotland for the first 4 years.. but I still have a bike – ridden once in the last year… part of this too was pushing myself, climbing hills, longer distances, physical exertion, faster, longer rides, recording them on map my ride, then strava…
Gardening and growing food – Yay! the hobby that I though I would do for a very long time that cost alot of money…..the joy of homegrown carrots, chillies, herbs, potatoes, onions, radish, onions etc, and the despair of picking off late night slugs….but then I ended up not being in that house any more, after spending money on raised beds and equipment… but also that was another hobby that provided therapy and purpose in the midst of an awful relationship.
What else have I done?
Football matches? yes – and Ive supported one team since I was 8 or 9, but though I have been to a few matches, the thrill of the live game is often emotionally counteracted by some of the fear I feel with large crowds and alcohol, especially if I have to also protect my son when we used to go together. It can feel like thousands of people taking out their anger on 11 other people. Enjoyable in winning times, but not always.
Food and Breadmaking – This is partly because I had to, do the cooking, but also I blame GBBO for this, I started bread making as Paul Hollywood and GBBO began to get more well known. I got obsessed for a few years…. I have enjoyed cooking, and I do think making food is an act of love and im glad I still enjoy cooking food in my current situation – but it was something devalued and belittled/not appreciated during previous traumatic relationships. So, bread making a hobby, cooking an essential that I enjoy for its creativity.
Playing Tennis, Running (until I get injured), DIY (essential in buying cheap homes to do up) , Reading, Writing (like this) , Trains have been less of a hobby now, than as a child, then there were the 4 video game years, in which I spent far too long playing Xbox – mostly Fifa 07 or motor racing games. Then theres Social media, twitter, facebook – is that a hobby or something more all consuming?
What about you?
Do you have 1 or 2 set hobbies that you stick to, or seems to flit around doing lots of different things?
I wonder also, how much trauma and things like ADHD have an effect/impact on this. I can certainly tell when I ‘needed’ hobbies and interests from an emotional/mental health point of view – but probably didn’t realise this at the time, or want to admit it, also I can trace some of the changes of these things as times when I was criticised by emotionally abusive people for doing them, often they didn’t like the ‘mess’, ‘the cost’ ‘the time’ that these things took, and generally making me feel bad for doing them, or having to fight to even do them, despite their criticism.
What about Hobbies and you? Do you have them? Have you just one or two? and what is that you get out of them… someone once said to me, in terms of the things that you choose to do, do things that worship you, or that you get back. Some hobbies give back more than others, I think of how I feel when I reach a milestone cycling and how this compares to the magical moments of nature, or the satisfaction of creating something… some create environments where it becomes difficult to leave them, like football, some are more essential, some are to ‘keep busy’, and not stopping. I wonder also how many of our hobbies and interests are to take us away from the difficult things, and have our mind consumed by something else, which is absolutely fine, but again – what might it be that we’re avoiding?
Often, the people that criticise you for having hobbies, are also the people who dont have them. Part of the criticism is that they’re jealous that you might be happy, or enjoying yourself without them. Part of it too is that they cannot reveal being happy. People make themselves very elusive without hobbies and interests, and impossible to please. And don’t get me started on the people who’s hobby is shopping… (I have a 23 part series on that person, see above) .
Part of this blog is thinking about loud, about Hobbies and interests in our life. Things change as we get older, of course they do, they change because of circumstance, cost and time – Birdwatching and nature emerged for me during the first lockdown – yet it was something that has childhood memories too, or my grandparents. Its a hobby and interest that has therapeutic qualities, as Joe Harkness explores in his book, bird therapy, about watching, about focussing on the present, about being connected to nature, but other hobbies do that too, dont they, like running, cycling etc
So, what about Hobbies for you? How have they helped? How might they heal? How have they changed?
Why do you do them? What do you get out of them? How have they been contentious in relationships?
How long will I enjoy the slow walks, birdwatching, photography and nature? Who knows…
James Ballantyne 