Parental Abuse
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On two separate occasions when I was disclosing to the relevant authorities the abusive behaviour of my mother, I was asked the following question. ‘Why are you doing this now?’ It was 25 years since I had left the family home, and been a terrified abused child. Though her behaviour was still the same even…
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Without question this was my favourite Disney song. My beautiful Auntie Heather, only 10 years older than me, had in her record collection circa 1982 a Disney compilation, as well as probably a whole load of other cool music that I had no idea of (or wasn’t allowed to hear). But the second track on…
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..is a raw, heartfelt, inspiring book. It’s about the way in which the unconscious expectations are placed on a child, it’s the story of how a child, then teenager, Jeannette McCurdy, has to resist growing up to maintain the fantasy of her mother, whom she adored, of being an actress. I have read many books…
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I sometimes, no, often, get myself into a spin. It happens, that when something is challenging, difficult and messy (mild words for ‘WTF is going on?’) I write. I write for myself, with words you will never see. I write for myself – and they end up in the draft pile I write for myself,…
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If yesterday I wrote about my own joinery from self loathing and denial to becoming more self referential, respectful and also giving space to trust my feelings. Today I’ve pondered the question – what happened to me, so that I had no ‘faith’ in myself? What happened to the extent to which there was no…
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How the clock ticked down throughout my teenage years.
James Ballantyne 