Joys…are there to be felt!

To feel it

I had to feel it.

Just like when I was on the beach today with my team, a day out in the glorious north east coast, at Whitley Bay/ Cullarcoats. Food was eaten, the sun was out, yes there was a westerly breeze.

Old me would have kept his shoes on. Old me was scared to feel. Old me would be afraid to enjoy himself. Old me would have stayed in his head. Old me would probably have told people off for taking their shoes off. Old me would have thought them childish.

Today, the sand on my feet belonged to me.

Today, I didnt care, and it was time to let my feet get covered in warm glorious sand.

And put my feet into the water.

Blue Sky meets the Crisp cold north sea.

Ripples of sand, water and sun dancing

And my feet part of it all

Feeling

To feel it, it had to be felt.

And I remember a time before.

When my head would prevent me from feeling, because it was safer that way.

Thats what denial, distraction, critical old me would have done. Anything to avoid feeling. Anything to stay in safe mode.

I used to live near the beach as well. For a whole year I would walk along the beach, in shoes or boots. They were my covid restrictive walks, along the sand, glorious…but..

watching others in the water

watching dogs run in and out

taking photos of the sea.

me walking along the sand, in boots, keeping my body clothing layers away from feeling.

scared to feel.

Until one day I decided to take off the shoes.

Until one day I realised it didnt matter if I got sand everywhere, or my feet wet or anything, because it didnt matter.

I wasnt going to get told off.

I didnt need permission

I could feel

I could run in. I could make splashes

I could get my t shirt wet

It was ok to feel.

It was safe to feel.

It wasnt enough to think about feeling. It wasnt enough to watch the water, to assess, judge or stay distance from it.

It wanted me to feel it, to feel its abandonment and life in it. Inviting me to freedom, requires feeling it, even just toes, just cold, just anything.

Joys are there to be felt.

Joys are there to be felt!

Thank you for reading!

My previous piece on Joy is here…it feels like it’s a thing!