I am now in the fourth season of growing chillies, I planted the current crop from seed in January, and now 25 (sorry 24, I gave one away) plants adorn my small flat, taking up window sills and the balcony.
I think ive eaten 6 green fruits and I’m giving the chance for the other fruits to ripen and turn red, unless I need them for cooking.
But the first year I tried to grow them from seed I failed. They just didn’t take.
The second year I was given a cutting from my sister in laws mum/dad, and the one plant grew and supplied me with over 100 chillies in a year.
But they nearly didn’t make it.
I looked at the plant every day. It was in a prime sunlit position.
I didn’t realise it was being attacked.
What I didn’t spot, initially, was the aphids.
Because they hide.
But also because I wasn’t looking for them
I thought the extra green/white dots on the flowers were normal.
I didn’t see them.
(And I bet you cant see these ones either: )
Not yet.
Not until just before it was too late.
Or just before I could do something about them.
Spray purchased and they got eradicated.
Plant saved.
Chillies harvested.
Aphids destroyed.
But only after I could see them.
I could equate this story to Sin, and especially a note I remember why old pastor telling me, that its always the little foxes that spoil the vine.
But I’m not going to do that.
Because sometimes it’s easier to notice Sin and ignore it, than it is to notice abuse and put up with it.
One of the most key questions about Domestic abuse is said to the victims: ‘Why did you stay?’
instead it should be ‘what was manipulating you not to leave?’
It takes more than 28 calls for help to leave.
Thats when its dawned enough for the victims to know that they’re in something so terrible, and they want a way out.
But on other occasions the abuse is more like the aphids.
So subtle.
Call it gaslighting, emotional manipulation, psychopathy, or sociopathy. Language varies.
Either way; It’s not a pair of scissors sniping away at a chilli plant, but almost invisible aphids.
Until the plant has lost its spark, its reason to be.
Aphids attack the new plant. The leaves that are growing. New life susceptible.
Emotional abuse attacks any new growth. Any opportunity for light, joy or growth. It is jealous.
Until there’s nothing left in its core.
The plant cannot escape. But it needs help. But it might not even know it.
Needs the help of those who have previously bought the spray.
Needs the help of those who know what they’re looking for.
Those who can see.
These fourth season chillis are growing in an environment where i have an aphid spray of water and soap ready to hand.
Theres no shame for chilli plant to have aphids. It just needs help to have them eradicated.
Its not the fault of the plant.
Ever.
(This post was originally posted on my Learning from the streets Blog, it still remains there too)
References:
Children of the Aging self-absorbed: (2006) Nina Brown
The Gaslighting effect : (2018) Reva Steenbergen
The Carl Rogers Reader, (1990) Kirschuenbaum, Henderson
James Ballantyne 
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