When ‘Sorry’ seems to be the easiest word

Sorry, for being late

Sorry for not being early

Sorry for not asking

Sorry for asking

Sorry for not being good enough for you

Sorry that I didnt did everything you expected me to

Sorry that Im not smiling today

Sorry for being too sensitive, when I dare stand up to you

Sorry seemed to be the easiest word.

Its a sure sign of abuse, when sorry seemed to be the easiest word.

Look at the list above, theres lots of opportunities to cause you to feel and be sorry.

It became a word I had to use in some relationships Ive been in, saying sorry when actually I hadn’t actually done anything wrong, yet made to feel sorry for existing or breathing.

And then I stopped saying it. I stopped saying sorry. It took a while. Clean air. Distance.

I stopped saying sorry for myself. Because I started to believe that, after 40 years of it, that I was the ok one. I could think of myself better. I am not a walking apology waiting to happen.

Apologising all the time. A sign of emotional abuse.

If you heard me say sorry too much, im not sorry now. Thats the pain I was in.

If you hear someone else say sorry often, they might be too.

Sorry seems to be the easiest word, when we value others opinions of us, more than our true worth. When those voices of destruction and abuse weigh heavy, and their manipulation so pervasive.

Hang on in there friend. See the signs. You are stronger, better, more worthy than you think.

If someone around you is apologising alot, they need assurance, not judgement. That they are ok, and that things will be.

I barely say sorry at all, and so if I do I mean it more, because of what I did, not for the value of myself.

Sorry need not be the easiest word.