Born to be Loyal

The more I think about it, the more I realise

That I was born to be loyal

Surrounded by a world of rules

That seeped in from an early age

Rules to follow

not to choose

to be good, but

to be Loyal

I promise to do my best,

To do my duty

Think of others before yourself

Be holy, like I am holy

Don’t you dare upset me

I need you to not cause stress

To God and the Queen

To God and the church

To the monster unseen

Born to be loyal

Born to be good

Born to be safe

Born to be true

Born to be weak

Born to be small

Born to be invisible

Born to not ask

not born to be me

born to be theirs

Born to be a trophy

all shiny and perfect

sat on a shelf

Born to surrender

all to Jesus, all to loyalty

born to conform

Born to doubt – who I really am

Scared to trangress

Scared to give up

That place on the shelf

Being good by proxy

Comatose existence,

feelings bewildered

Conform, loyal

Be the good boy

Be our saviour

Stick to the safe

Dont rock the boat

Thats your role

Dont disrupt, Dont make noise

Play quietly with your toys

Dont rebel – make us proud

It was hard being a teenager, being good, yet told I was trouble

In trouble for not pledging allegiance to the God of the home

Keep my loyal place, on the shelf of the favoured, trophy boy

Fear of losing that place – yet what did it gain?

Become the favourite, soothe the abuser.

Loyal to everything, but me.

Be good

Be quiet

and above all else

Be loyal.

Born to be loyal

am I finally free?

Born to be loyal

Can I now be me?

Born to be loyal

Now I can choose?

Born to be loyal

I want to be be

Born to be loyal

Awaken the fight

for me to be me

Born to be loyal

I can finally see

Born to be loyal

its now time to be, loyal to me.