Loving discomfort

I used to suppress everything, so I didn’t feel anything

Get through it

Survive it

Bounce

Close off my heart, live a shrouded life.

Any discomfort was barely even felt

Or felt in silence, private and…

then pushed through,

and receive the weight , the noise of my own destructive self talk.

Trauma voice shouting internally.

No heart open to love myself, so no love to do its work.

But I realised over the course of the last year,

of journaling words of self love everyday.

That there are more aspects of life that I now talk more lovingly to.

Because, talking lovingly to myself is actually a free choice. You can do it, but like me, I was too scared to.

I didnt want to believe that I actually was lovable, incredible, brave, courageous, powerful.

But then I did.

And something I noticed, is that when I talked kindly to myself…

I didnt beat myself up that often

I could tell myself that I had done well in what I was doing

I could feel proud of myself

All completely unconditionally. A choice.

Loving the discomfort.

Thats been tough.

Because often I forget, or I am tired, or there’s a new ‘thing’ that appears, a feeling or situation, and it swipes me.

Sometimes I berate myself for feeling what I feel. it’s like I think I shouldn’t feel anxiety, or depressed, or lonely even after doing all this work.

Maybe I dont think I should be triggered.

But thats not what it’s about.

It’s these moments, where the work helps to self regulate. It’s these moments to notice the feeling. It’s these moments to feel them.

Sensing it.

And to love it.

In the moment.

Because they stem from wounded parts. They are feelings, angels of learning, and opportunities to be loved and held.

Discomfort needs to be loved and not berated

Discomfort needs to be loved and not criticised

Discomfort needs to be loved and not ignored or suppressed

Discomfort needs to be held, in your open heart

And know that its ok, its trying to protect you

And love you may have for someone else, rightly, turn it inwards, protect your energy and fill that discomfort, that pain with love from within. Talk to it as a friend. Ask. Love. Breathe love into it.

Because then healing arrives from the inside out.

Love does always win, truly.

Love the discomfort, and then be transformed.