And then….
The lights went out
Darkness filled the air
Stillness hung like smoke
No-thing
Space for fear to come in
Dread
Alone-ness
Oh how those disciples of Jesus, and the women, and others, each of them lost in different ways,
facing the end, death, and an uncertain life
Allegiances loosely pledged, dashed, unfulfilled.
Wondering lost in the next
That hadn’t started, that wasnt there
Just lost.
They probably woke early, even if exhausted,
To the new darkness approaching.
They had nothing to wait for, because nothing was expected.
Grief freezes
Grief holds
Grief and Anger mixed together in a soup of despair
The poignancy of the empty blue sky
and the shadows of the day before.
The rush to start the new,
to move forward
to get on with life
to run, avoid, fill up time
Blue deep sky in the morning.
Blue hearted
Death is the great wound in the universe, it is the ultimate vulnerability that overshadows every footstep
John O Donohue, Divine Beauty
Yet…. love waits, calling from the blue
Calling from the tears
Calling from the unfulfilled dreams
Calling from the nothingness
Calling from the truth
So…
Take your time
Its important that you feel
And feel it deeply
No rush
Take your time
Its important that you feel
and feel it
wholly.
A known path is often full of potholes
Take your time
Its important that you feel
your way
led on the wings of the angels
carried at their speed……
not yours
not the speed that you were going
as you rushed to make it happen
headlong into perfectionist headache
Running from avoidance in your heart
No rush
Take your time
Life awaits
and calls you
in the midst of
in the midst
of
the waiting
the liminal space
between
the death of the old
the awakening of the new
Take your time
No rush
It’ll be there
Yet in this moment
in its ambiguity
in its uncomfort
in its wrestle
is your working
is where your life tools get chiseled
Self compassion and care make their deepest clean
Dreams wrestle with reality
Frustration becomes a higher calling
to a place beyond, not yet felt
not yet in..
Take your time
as an act of love
a gift to yourself
to embrace this now
embrace this gift
let it change you
make you
teach you
No rush
Take your time
Life day will happen
Resurrection day will happen
In your soul, in your heart
and
now
its just making itself known
awakening your heart to feel it
in the midst of this now
So
No Rush
Let Love move in its slow way
Beyond the blue
in the blue.
James Ballantyne 
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