One of the concepts I really like that I have used in some of my community work practices, is that of ABC, and it’s taken from Deci and Ryan’s stuff on self -determined growth. I first found it in Jocelyn Bryans book ‘Human Being’ :Insights from Psychology on the Christian Faith.
A link to Deci and Ryans stuff is here. Basically how I have tended to share this has been about how young people, more pertinently, how three key factors are required to enable us to be able to ‘grow’
They are A – Autonomy – the capacity to make decisions about the things that are important to us
B- Belonging – it’s all about relationship…. but felt safety, felt sense of ‘home’ , being valued, being seen…
C – Competence – Having the opportunity to do things, take risks, have positive feedback, ‘go beyond’
Thats it in brief. So, when I share this stuff i normally do so on the basis of the ‘external’ places where these things happen…. or dont… and so when young people (or anyone) feels that they dont have these things, or maybe only 1 – then its unlikely that they will be able to flourish/grow in balance.
A place where there is felt safety – but no challenge o autonomy might get boring or belittling…
A place where there is challenge- but no relationship or autonomy might be task heavy, uncaring and disempowered…
How might all be present, to the extent that a person requires in in a setting, and then, what’s required in a place like a workplace to keep someone in a role, when these things aren’t there. Higher pay? Better conditions? enforced compliance?
Not every situation is going have ‘all three’ in balance, and maybe thats an impossibility given our individuality, however, in situations where 1, 2 or 3 of these is seriously lacking… and maybe there’s a thing too that some places offer one of these, because of the damage of somewhere else, and people embody these as much as places create them too.
Yet, I was pondering all this over the last few weeks, given that I used this ‘model’ in a conference recently.
And I was wondering, how might this all be applied on the inside.
What if instead, the ‘place’ of growth wasnt the external place of the school, youth group, workplace etc… what might it be if the place was the ‘community’ on the inside?
The heart, soul and mind in community – linked with thoughts, memory and experience?
So often I have realised that what I tried to create for others…..I needed myself….
On the inside….
What might felt belonging and safety feel like – inside? – a place on where emotions are free to come out and play…. all of them , a place where inside there is a sense of calm, and not urgency, fear or danger…. a place where the talk inside is caring, soft and loving? A place inside of connection and harmony. The inside can rarely feel safe, more a barren landscape that can be thought of in fear…..
True belonging……. on the inside…..
Autonomy – on the inside… the ability to make decisions about thoughts and emotions, distinct from the thoughts and emotions, having a sense of control rather than bewilderment, overwhelm and where there’s is choice. Choice to act in a way that is conscious. Inner choices to make assessments of emotions, and thoughts.
And what about Competence. Inner competence. To feel internally proud of achieving and making hard changes, in behaviour, whether this is addiction, dependence, whether this about self protection, or whether this is the day by day, step by step of seeing, feeling and becoming more awake. Brave steps to face stuff on the inside and work through them, rising to that challenge, often reluctantly or belligerently. Often starting with the externals, the relationship, then working on the internals, the default protective patterns, that are self prisoning. Competence on the inside as a process of ongoing healing from trauma and growth amidst it…and beyond.
All of these are required for growth. All of these are required in the process of inner deep healing.
I was reminded also of these yesterday as I watched Brene Browns TED talk again of 15 or so years ago, and the path of vulnerability.
Im just pondering really, giving these some thought space… what might be required psychologically on the inside for healthy post traumatic growth?
Maybe these are markers that inner growth is happening?
And yes its ‘only a theory’ but just pondering….
James Ballantyne 