James Ballantyne

Self awareness

  • Accidentally Inspirational.

    I didnt start putting coals on to my almost burnout out life in order to be something, or have a story, or be inspiring.  When I cried my desperate heart out in Mamma Mia 2 in July 2019, feeling so… Continue reading

  • Abuse is the relationship, not just the Incidents.

    Emotional abuse, isn’t the moments, it’s the entire relationship.  The whole thing. Interspersed with tiny moments of relief.  The rest is eggshells.  The rest is being gravitationally in their orbit.  The rest is drama, upset, fracture.  It’s not one event.… Continue reading

  • Loving Myself, meant loving my Story.

    If the Stories you can’t tell have guards, then mine was an artillery full of armour, it had dug a moat, and was employing dragons at its watch towers.  (see previous post below ‘Silent Stories have guards’) 40 years of… Continue reading

  • Silent Stories have Guards.

    Silent Stories have guards.  The ones that cannot be told.  Wrap themselves Hide themselves Find a dark place And without permission Without choice Build their fortress.  Build their army.  Hidden to protect.  Hidden to fester. Hidden to haunt.  The story… Continue reading

  • Silence of the Lambs.

    It wasn’t (just) what happened to you. It was the silence you had to keep. The silence you had to protect. The silence of the truth that could never be said. For Fridays Frosties. Keep the peace. Daddys not going… Continue reading

  • The Invisibility of Male Victims..and Mens emotional needs.

    ‘Have you ever even bothered to think about men for a change? I’d like you to understand men better’  Theres a moment at the end of one of my favourite books Paulo Coelho’s ‘Eleven Minutes’ where the main character, ‘the… Continue reading