(This blog is written by James and Christelle to accompany their latest video which is here, in which we ask the same question. We would like to prompt a conversation about this, and would like to hear from you and invite you into the conversation.)
This blog is dedicated to those who have supported us on our journey.
It is also for those whose hidden journeys are yet to be revealed.
Why?
Because we are wondering if there is a trend going on.
James; When I was first volunteering in Youth Ministry back in the 1990’s, there were a number of studies done about the difference in ‘generations’. The reason was that youth ministry then, and now, became about relevance. Discovering what each generational demographic was broadly like, became a guide, and marker. What we didn’t really hear about was stuff about the potential of generational trauma to be passed down from one generation to the next. Why do I say this?
Well..because…
It seems like there are a significant number of people in their mid/late 30s through to 50’s (Generation x born 1965-1980) who are undergoing a realisation of the emotional abuse/trauma from the parents who were born around 1945-1960 (the baby boomers)?
Why might that be?
We’re not sure that Generation X has hit ‘mid-life’ crises all at once.
‘Mid-life crisis’ ….doesn’t equate to the number of people who are having their eyes open to the realisation of the horror of the behaviour they were subjected to as children or adults, by their Baby boomer parents.
Descriptors like entitled, precious, favourite princess babies (after the war), narcissist, self obsessed, driven, also.. busy, aloof… are all words that fit the behaviour of many parents from the Baby Boomer generation.
Psychologists and counsellors have also said the same, in the following books.
Maybe its now when Generation X have had enough, and started to make different decisions, rather than accommodate abuse.
Instead its time to deal with it, by working on themselves.
Realising that they werent the problem all along.
Maybe, as in our own case, we realised that we played rescuer, and it was a role that was exhausting. It’s time to devolve that responsibility to those who should have it themselves. It’s easy to be forced into the rescue game for those who play victim and persecutor. Its ironic also, that generation X will continue to over stretch taking responsibility for an older generation as they age.
What caused it?
We could go further back and make an argument that the parents of Baby Boomers could be ‘at fault’ – but this isn’t about blame. Blaming upwards, or not taking responsibility, is what we’ve heard all our lives.
We are already the generation who has taken responsibility – by fighting on climate change, poverty, young people, equality and many other matters, we are already equipped with knowing that if it’s going to change, only we can change it. We’re also seeing our children fight for justice at an earlier age again.
Blame won’t change the pattern. We already know change starts with us.
But we’re wondering – is there some kind of collective generational trauma revealing and healing going on?
So, are Generation X adults undergoing a collective healing from Baby Boomer parents?
Open question..What are your thoughts?
Please comment below, please do share this post or our video. Maybe talking about it might mean that you can know you’re not alone.
If you would like to watch the accompanying video to this blog it is here:
James Ballantyne 