I am not entirely sure if there are words in the dictionary to describe the events of my last three weeks, and in the main they are not for here. But let’s just say that for almost every single one of them, there have been moments of being brave, courageous, of facing inner and outer demons, and doing a lot of digging deep. Much has been revealed.
But yesterday I crashed. I was done.
A call to my line manager, and two much needed days off were required. Yet I woke today with barely a plan, and barely the energy to even think of what I might do for the day.
Instead of giving I needed to receive.
Instead of trying to write, and be creative, just needed to be
Instead of learning I needed to feel
Instead of self help, I turned to poetry.
And after a walk along the river, and with my free Caffè Nero vouchers, started my flat white coffee, and picked up ‘Brave’ by Donna Ashworth.
And for an hour it was as if she took me out for coffee.
Words of her poetry speaking into my soul.
Phrases that leapt off the page, some more warmly received than others, some affirming, some bringing a silent tear, but delivered with a warmth, care and love, that I needed.
I offer some that struck out for me today, my coffee out with Donna Ashworth, for you today too.
One Day you will see,
That all this mud
was simply the soil
that grew you to full height
(Donna Ashworth, Brave)
You Mustn’t run on a broken leg
bones rest to heal, thats true
but you can still love with a
broken heart and you must
because love is the glue
(Donna Ashworth, Brave)
And this one:
I wish you beauty in this life, my friend
but most of all, I wish you the bravery
to see that beauty in yourself
because it is there, it most definitely is there.
(Donna Ashworth, I wish you beauty)
To become a more positive person
you must make a pact with your inner child
to hear her voice above that
of your inner critics and demons
(Donna Ashworth, The Positivity Pact)
Just begin….
The world may not immediately embrace
your contribution
but the universe will and its her you need on side
(Donne Ashworth)
If you dont know how to move forward…
just take a few brave steps and have faith,
the universe will meet you there
(Donna Ashworth)
It is brave not to be busy
to be bare and boldly being
when everyone else strives to buy
the emperors new clothes
(Donna Ashworth)
My Soul garden is in bloom when light is being sought
and love is at the forefront of all I choose
starting with
me
(Donna Ashworth, Soul Garden)
Sometimes it was just the words in between the poems, the almost throw away sentences that had no titles, not made it to ‘poetry status’ just gaps in between when balming words gracefully arrived from the page.
In amidst the conversations in the coffee shop, I had this one with Donna Ashworth, she sat there, invisible in the chair, but the words of her heart, written, calmed and restored my soul.
The Magnificence of the moon
is rarely captured by camera
what makes you think
you are any different?
(Donna Ashworth)
If I ever meet you Donna, I’ll buy you a coffee.
Thank you.
James Ballantyne 