Said my line manager to me early in the year, around January time, in the midst of a conversation we were having, she had ‘walked’ with me through the back end of last year.
And as she said it, I smiled even bigger, and deeper.
And she smiled back.
Joy
And it’s been the word of the week for me this week.
Joy.
Joy feels light
Joy dances
Joy emanates from being
Joy runs in the grasses and doesn’t care about the muddy shoes
Joy splashes in the puddles
Joy plays in wonder
Joy Joy Joy
Universal Joy
Joy attracts Joy
Joy radiates Joy
But what if
What if, Joy all along
What if I can now believe.. the truth
That God might delight in me
That God looks with joy in his soul
At my soul filled with Joy
And there is wonder in being?
May you learn to see yourself,
with the same delight,
pride and expectation
with which God sees you in every moment
(John O Donohue, Anam Cara)
God looks at you too.. believe his Joy for you
Joy, full aliveness
Wonder, bliss and love
Where shadows have been loved
And nothing scary lurks from within
Childlike Joy
Joy becomes, beyond definition
beyond picture or image
or explanation
Its felt
Trust it.
Trust Joy.
Joy longs for you, waits for you
Joy feels home
Heart smiling, beaming, dancing
to the tune of freedom, love and peace
Joy bubbles
Joy giggles
Joy abounds
Joy plays.
Joy gives, abundant and free… just receive it
Joy loves lightly
Joy lights in multi sensory colour, like a million fireflies, in a iridescent cave under rainbow skies
Joy finds us when we least expect it, but can’t be searched for
Joy, a gift, a treasure, awakened from the deep
When a soul smiles, at the joy of another
Joy, indescribable, beyond these words
Beyond any words
In the space between words, and worlds
Transcendental, Joy, the air floating to a higher plane
It started with a goldfinch, making its pearl like chirping from the tree, just outside St Cuthbert’s Church, Darlington.
Ordinary Goldfinch.
Making me take notice at it.
And ended with a Bumble bee scrambling for the pollen in the blossom in the trees opposite.
And in between that distance of less than 10 metres, I walked. Slowly.
No deadlines. No expectation. No Time.
Slow Wonder Walking.
Following the path along the river Skerne.
Slow, almost the same pace as the river itself.
Could I see the otters? Maybe.
Walk slow. Notice
Everyday wonder in the midst of the ordinary.
The bee springing from the nettles
The wren launching itself from the base of the tree trunk to a branch then shouting at me in its loud voice.
The Dogs that didnt give me dog hugs. The Owners that smiled when they didnt.
Slow step.
Surprise after Surprise.
Unexpected red breasted Merganser. Female, on her own.
Grey Wagtails, fluttering their uniquely yellow underbellies.
The joyful playful shriek of the girl toddler running away from her pretend chasing daddy, squealing and playing with utter delight. Her all black romper suit covered in a myriad of rainbow hearts. Joy.
I wondered that I used to run, run away, or need to go fast.
But now slow.
Contented slowness.
Embracing peace.
Shades. Streaks of sunlight.
Slow walking
When we walk slow, we give the opportunity for a new person to grow inside of us
Paulo Coelho
Who is that person?
That same joyous toddler full of curiosity and play
Probably
Sounds of play
Sounds of nature
The inner feelings of bliss
Some kind of bliss
Some kind of calm
Rest.
Bridge.
Wonder at reflections.
Watch the water ripple, make them fuzzy
Watch and wonder.
Stare.
Be.
In the moment, of accepting the magic of the ordinary.
10 minutes of staring at willow branches fluttering in the water.
interrupted by the joy of pooh sticks.
Wonder, magic, delight of floating sticks.
And beating grandpa.
Boy running. Boy in wonder.
Wonder.
Awe.
Everything is magic.
Everything is open.
Slow.
Walking, back the same way.
Temptation to think, ive been here before, must go some other route
But I haven’t, I haven’t been there in this moment.
“Always we have to look, Today suddenly a flower is the reason for your surprise, tomorrow it may be the same flower, just with a different colour, because of the age of the flower”
Paulo Freire
Resist the urge to need to go somewhere new, do the same, do it slow again
I am 20 minutes older. Inside. Or Younger. How does this new person feel time
It just is.
Feeling its way in the moment.
Though suddenly…
Oh look what’s this, a thought, a thought about tomorrow, a thought about something I need to do and suddenly, my feet have grinded up a gear…. subconscious speeding up,
Lost from the moment, into thought.
Noticed.
I saw you.
I saw you thought.
But I am here.
And I stopped you.
Because you are not for now.
This is now.
Wonder is now
Slow is now.
So I made you stop. For now is wonder time.
And those dancing grey wagtails captivated once again
And the gold crest in the tree
The couples with their beautiful babies in pushchairs, all full of life and energy
Noticing the joy.
Noticing my feet slowly placing one foot in front of the other.
feeling. Breathing. Heart filled with joy.
That new person finding life
That new person safe in wonder
Smiling, arms outstretched
Whistling Heaven.
When I walk among the hills.
Walking slow.
Walking in wonder.
Awakening.
In the moment.
Seeing in the midst, glory in the everyday.
Timeless unbridled joy.
Being fully alive.
Peace from within.
Return to the town.
Slow. (but slightly quicker crossing the road)
Calm.
Bliss.
An avenue of blossom, beauty amongst buildings.
It all started with a Goldfinch.
It ended with a bumblebee.
A blissful walk that went nowhere, but everywhere in between.
Wonder at Wonder. Awe is something awesome.
Some kindness of bliss.
Wordless, thoughtless, timeless.
“What remains will be the love that moves the heavens, the stars, people, flowers, insects, the love that obliges us all to walk across the ice despite the danger, that fills us with joy and with fear, and gives meaning to everything.”
James Ballantyne 