Surviving Psychopathic Parenting (Part 10); Navigating the other parent, the flying monkey.

But you do have another parent, couldn’t you talk to them?

Your other parent, they’re so nice, they’d do anything for anyone

Only one of the above is true.

Theres a reason why you feel completely alone when one of your parents is a psychopath.

You realise that you cannot trust the other one.

Even if you are allowed to be anywhere near them.

You discover that they can’t be trusted.

I did, though I cannot remember exactly when.

In the name of marital loyalty they tell everything to the psychopathic one.

They are on the same eggshells. Afraid to keep secrets.

They are passive.

They are controlled.

They do the work of the psychopath for them.

They are their flying monkey.

They have no choice but to believe them.

You know they wouldn’t believe you. They cant protect you , the child.

Mine didnt, couldn’t, wasn’t going to.

They are also abused themselves, but they dont know it. Wouldn’t want to know it.

Surviving psychopathic parenting is about Surviving alone.

The one psychopath can divide a whole family, a whole community, thats how dangerous one of them is (Erikson, 2019) It only takes one.

The other parent elicits sympathy from others, your poor father, as they take on meeting others needs like a codependant. They take on befriending and soothing others, for the psychopathic one to manipulate later. They dont realise it, but thats how the pattern works.

Maybe if you had emotionally abusive parents it was different for you?

One of mine was abused by the other, passive, and then offered no protection from her.

The other was a psychopath.

The ‘Other’ was played, believed the victim lies, span a tale too.

You dont have either parent, if one of them is a psychopath. Even if mine appeared generally friendly, sometimes playful, even spending a bit of time as a child with them making train sets.

Ultimately though, they are just a shell. A tool. Being used as the flying monkey to elicit information to the other one.

Its why the only way is to survive alone.

You cant trust anyone.

Until you can find people you can trust in.

People who have boundaries. People who protect.

I didnt have the ‘other’ parent. There was no such thing.

Its like growing up with secondary eggshells. You know what you say goes back. You know they are sent in to discover information.

You know you’re likely to be given the guilt trip that ‘they might miss out’ and they do.

They have made that choice.

Surviving Psychopathic parenting, and psychopaths and abusive people , is to see and realise the patterns of the flying monkeys.

The other parent, the psychopaths flying monkey.

Thank you for reading this, part 10 of my story, do read the other parts in the menu above, and also there are resources in the other menu too.