Domestic Violence Awareness Month

This Month is #domesticviolenceawarenessmonth

More details are here: https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/domestic-violence-awareness-month/

Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship

A lot of people do not realize that they are in an abusive relationship. Here are some of the signs that you could be in an abusive relationship that you need to get out of…

• Your partner sexually or physically abuses you. If they ever make you have sex with them when you don’t want to, hit you, shove you, or push you, this is domestic abuse. 
• Your partner threatens you or your family.
• Your partner puts your down. They attack your capabilities, mental health, looks, or intelligence. They blame you for their violent outbursts.
• Your partner is jealous. They may isolate you from your family or friends or they may accuse you of not being faithful.
• Your partner is possessive. They may check up on you all of the time and they may get angry if you hang out with certain people.
• Your partner has strangled you, beat you, or hit you in the past.

Emotional Abuse

When we talk about raising awareness for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it’s important that we acknowledge emotional abuse. This is a much bigger problem than a lot of people realize. Just because you don’t have bruises on your skin does not mean you are not being abused. A lot of women and men suffer from emotional abuse, and it is no less destructive. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often overlooked or minimized, even by those experiencing this.

Emotional abusers look to chip away at your feelings of independence and self-worth. You can end up feeling like you do not have anything without your abusive partner or that there is no way out of your relationship. 

Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse. This includes controlling behavior, intimidation, isolation, shaming, blaming, name-calling, and yelling. Abusers who use psychological or emotional abuse will often throw about threats of physical violence, as well as other repercussions if you do not do what they demand. 

Gaslighting is one form of emotional and verbal abuse

The scars of emotional abuse run deep, and they are very real! You may assume that physical abuse is a lot worse, as people can end up with physical wounds and send you to the hospital. However, emotional abuse can be just as damaging. Sometimes, it can even be worse. This is why it is important to raise awareness of all types of domestic violence and abuse.

Financial abuse is one of the subtler forms of emotional abuse. Some examples of this include:

• Taking your money or stealing from you
• Sabotaging your job – calling constantly or making you miss work
• Preventing you from choosing your own career or working
• Restricting you to an allowance
• Withholding basic necessities, such as shelter, medications, clothes, and food 
• Making you account for every penny you spend
• Withholding credit cards or money
• Rigidly controlling your finances

Note that Men can experience Domestic abuse too. I have experienced both abuse by a controlling dominating Mother and then having suffered emotional abuse in a previous long term relationship.

If you would like to speak in confidence about Domestic Abuse that you are suffering as a male – then do contact this helpline – https://mensadviceline.org.uk

Or Man kind ; Here : https://www.mankind.org.uk/help-for-victims/types-of-domestic-abuse/

Its not just women, its not just relationships linked to poverty, its not relationships ‘out there’ it occurs in churches and so called ‘christian relationships’ no relationship is immune from it, when actions occur that stem from not taking personal responsibility, blaming, deep neediness, as well as power imbalances.

If you have committed abuse of others – do get help – there is time, there is support to change, should you realise that there is a better way to behave.

The world is a better place when we all are too.

There is no shame in asking for help

There is no shame in admitting that there is a problem in your relationship

There is no shame in realising that you have been or are being abused.

It isn’t your fault, their behaviour isn’t your responsibility.

Time to make yourself safe, time to deserve better, time to feel like living and not just surviving.

#domesticviolenceawarenessmonth

Purple is the colour.