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Surviving Psychopathic Parenting (Part 21) Accepting delusional normality
If you’re like me and have spent a lot of your life reading or watching politics, you may know about the phrase ‘hyper-normalisation’ . I dont know who coined it, but its spoken of in depth in Adam Curtis’ brilliant… Continue reading
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Holding the weight, when the other doesn’t
I was wondering, what are the things we do, when in the midst of abusive relationships, before we realise that it wasn’t actually us? Therapy is one of them This reminded me of more….in an abusive relationship, of some of… Continue reading
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Tears of Validity
Validation Vindication Someone else gets it Someone else believes me Someone else names the monster Someone else means, im not alone It means It wasnt me It wasnt my fault There was nothing I can do There was nothing I… Continue reading
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When there is nothing, but relief
I wonder – does ‘grief-guilt’ exist? Not the ‘I should have done this’ ‘ I could have prevented something happening’ kind of guilt – when there is grief – a bit like this But more, like , that feeling when… Continue reading
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Inner work is like a Sourdough starter
I need to treat myself, like I do my sourdough starter. That fresh flour, clean new green grapes and warm water all combined Stirred in a bottle Waiting for the reaction. Excitement builds as the bubbles emerge as its kept… Continue reading
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‘How can I stop myself becoming like them?’
Spiders, Clowns, Heights, Buttons, Spaces, The dark, Nuclear war, being bullied at school…. These weren’t the things I fear in most of my life. It wasnt things. It wasnt just ‘that parent’ that gave me considerable terrors. Have a read… Continue reading
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Allowing Shit to Settle
No thanks I’d rather pretend the shit didn’t exist thank you very much I’d rather add a whole layer of other stuff on top of it I’d rather pretend that the shit was actually roses without any thorns I’d rather… Continue reading
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Surviving Psychopathic Parenting (Part 20) Turning up to school, with blood on my hands
(TW, Self Harm) There was blood on my hands every day I was in Primary school. No scars of the pain of abuse, apart from my own. Torn away skin On the top of my fingers. Every day pain. Squeeze… Continue reading
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Facing up to the Male Crisis
I have been reading ‘The Courage of Hopelessness’ by Slavoj Zizek (2017) , its a hard read but an interesting one. He tackles some interesting subjects , ranging from Brexit, The EU and in his last two chapters the responses… Continue reading
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Boys and their Abused Dads
As a youth worker you get to hear alot of stories and moral panics about abusive or absent Dads, and the effect this has on children. It is often in regard to the behaviour of those children, especially in education… Continue reading
James Ballantyne
The Universe conspires to help the dreamer
Paulo Coelho
Life is a Journey paved with Love
James Ballantyne 