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The shame of being male
This feels like one of the most difficult pieces I have ever written, but that fact alone doesnt stop me from wanting to write it, for theres a feeling I get every now and then, that I hate, and this… Continue reading
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Saving an exhausted bumble bee
Lying motionless, almost on my small balcony lay a bumble bee in the morning heat today Exhausted Barely clinging on to the edge of the wood, nearly about to drop down a 30ft gap close, to death So I googled… Continue reading
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‘Why cant I just have fun?’
It sometimes feels an effort to have fun – dont you think? well it does for me Nothing is stopping me, I can do what I want, So what cant I? But then I started to realise why… its those… Continue reading
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Recovery of my forgotten Inner Child
Over the past 8 months, through Trauma Therapy, I’ve been getting in touch with my inner child. The remarkable thing was, I didnt even know I had one. A child. A child part of me What I began to realise… Continue reading
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Dealing with my Noise Addiction: Recovery and Healing (Part 8 )
There was one addiction I had to cure. It wasn’t alcohol, drugs, sex or shopping, it wasnt biting my nails, chocolate or coffee. It was NOISE I had a Noise addiction. Since the tender age of ‘Radio 5 is amazing… Continue reading
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Hell wasn’t the place I thought it was
Hell wasnt the place I thought it was Not the fire out there But the fear in here. Not eternal damnation, but present accusation, wasn’t the future to be avoiding, but present shame and loathing. Hell wasnt the place I… Continue reading
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Preventing the take-over when the abuser gets in touch
Anyone panic when that message or that text or email arrives? From ‘that’ person? Its like a shock, a reaction, pangs of fear, of guilt and brain on overload… Sometimes it is just better to block them, to avoid this… Continue reading
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The Breadcrumbing tactic
One of the confusing things about growing up and living with someone who is emotionally abusive (and this also applies to physically abusive too), is that they are rarely abusive all the time. Some people are, and that id learned… Continue reading
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On Gareth and the Hug we all need
I feel like there needs to be a broader conversation about men and processing emotions in day to day life, after incidents of violence and racism, and not just during special events like #mentalhealth awareness weeks. If football/alcohol cause the… Continue reading
James Ballantyne
The Universe conspires to help the dreamer
Paulo Coelho
Life is a Journey paved with Love
James Ballantyne 