I feel like a traumatised mystic. 
One foot in wonder. One foot in what the fuck. 
A fence in the middle
Sometimes made of barbed wire. 
Or cotton. 

One side doubting the imagination of the other. 
One side loving the noise the other wants to make. 
One side thought. 
One side imagination. 

Trauma on one side
Her voices spill over
Across a sacred tide
Which welcomes them with
Eternal love
Even in the frustration of the falling
Shards of broken glass making sparkles
That are felt first. 

One foot in the dream
One in the past. 
One in the peace
Of a past that seems to last. 

Lightness pays a heavy time
Heaviness sinks to reason
That dreams suddenly don’t make sense
They never did. 
But dreams are possibilities
Longing to unhide. 

Walking one foot
With another
Walking along
A path
Surrounded by an abyss

One foot a mystic
A love believer
Seeing the whole
She plays her tune
Step, after momentous step
Step, after momentous step. 
Bravery the fuel of restoration
Faith and Vulnerability 
Soul stars in the night sky. 
Terrifying. 
The walk
To the centre
Of the stage
Where I don’t truly belong. 
Said the thought
That still tries to lie. 

Edge of Centre. 
Off white. 
Comfort and Risk
One foot determined
The other
Stuck
In Mud. 

The Traumatised Mystic. 
Love believer. 
Born from Pain
Redeemed by Love
All along. 

Stepping beyond the lines drawn
In quick sands deadly curse. 
Walking tall. 
This play is about to begin
And I am truly here
Myself. 

Traumatised mystic
That had to walk alone
From lifes first steps
Where I didn’t want to be seen. 

I am now
I am wounded, fractured, shame and pain. 
And
I am Lover, dreamer, healer, life. 

Labels mean less than the judgements they correspond to 
I am annoyed at myself
And amazed at myself. 
I am frustrated
And fucking proud

I am calm……sometimes
I am lost….. sometimes
I am between what they did to me, and what I want to be. 
I am in the middle, lumbering one foot in front of another. 
With
Everyone. 
With 
Myself
And 
That’s Love. 
Generous of heart
And 
Voices of mind. 

Both is all of me. 

I want to stand beyond
I want to stand within
I want to stand right her
I want to be
The warrior of the wounds
The Lover of the hatred
The Truth bearer in the darkness
Yet 
I’m sometimes as scared
As I am sacred. 

One foot in the abyss. 
One foot in the dream.
One foot in the fear
One foot in the possibility. 
One foot in each
Is better that when
There used to only be two. 
Stuck in the trauma like glue. 

Arrival wont happen when the doubt goes away
Nor when I think I’ve made it. 
It’s when. 
I feel home.
Nowhere. 
And
Everywhere