James Ballantyne

Healing

  • Tears of Validity

    Validation Vindication Someone else gets it Someone else believes me Someone else names the monster Someone else means, im not alone It means It wasnt me It wasnt my fault There was nothing I can do There was nothing I… Continue reading

  • When there is nothing, but relief

    I wonder – does ‘grief-guilt’ exist? Not the ‘I should have done this’ ‘ I could have prevented something happening’ kind of guilt – when there is grief – a bit like this But more, like , that feeling when… Continue reading

  • ‘How can I stop myself becoming like them?’

    Spiders, Clowns, Heights, Buttons, Spaces, The dark, Nuclear war, being bullied at school…. These weren’t the things I fear in most of my life. It wasnt things. It wasnt just ‘that parent’ that gave me considerable terrors. Have a read… Continue reading

    ‘How can I stop myself becoming like them?’

  • Allowing Shit to Settle

    No thanks I’d rather pretend the shit didn’t exist thank you very much I’d rather add a whole layer of other stuff on top of it I’d rather pretend that the shit was actually roses without any thorns I’d rather… Continue reading

  • Surviving Psychopathic Parenting (Part 20) Turning up to school, with blood on my hands

    (TW, Self Harm) There was blood on my hands every day I was in Primary school. No scars of the pain of abuse, apart from my own. Torn away skin On the top of my fingers. Every day pain. Squeeze… Continue reading

  • Facing up to the Male Crisis

    I have been reading ‘The Courage of Hopelessness’ by Slavoj Zizek (2017) , its a hard read but an interesting one. He tackles some interesting subjects , ranging from Brexit, The EU and in his last two chapters the responses… Continue reading

    Facing up to the Male Crisis