James Ballantyne

Self awareness

  • Holding the weight, when the other doesn’t

    I was wondering, what are the things we do, when in the midst of abusive relationships, before we realise that it wasn’t actually us? Therapy is one of them This reminded me of more….in an abusive relationship, of some of… Continue reading

  • ‘How can I stop myself becoming like them?’

    Spiders, Clowns, Heights, Buttons, Spaces, The dark, Nuclear war, being bullied at school…. These weren’t the things I fear in most of my life. It wasnt things. It wasnt just ‘that parent’ that gave me considerable terrors. Have a read… Continue reading

    ‘How can I stop myself becoming like them?’

  • Allowing Shit to Settle

    No thanks I’d rather pretend the shit didn’t exist thank you very much I’d rather add a whole layer of other stuff on top of it I’d rather pretend that the shit was actually roses without any thorns I’d rather… Continue reading

  • Surviving Psychopathic Parenting (Part 20) Turning up to school, with blood on my hands

    (TW, Self Harm) There was blood on my hands every day I was in Primary school. No scars of the pain of abuse, apart from my own. Torn away skin On the top of my fingers. Every day pain. Squeeze… Continue reading

  • Facing up to the Male Crisis

    I have been reading ‘The Courage of Hopelessness’ by Slavoj Zizek (2017) , its a hard read but an interesting one. He tackles some interesting subjects , ranging from Brexit, The EU and in his last two chapters the responses… Continue reading

    Facing up to the Male Crisis

  • Boys and their Abused Dads

    As a youth worker you get to hear alot of stories and moral panics about abusive or absent Dads, and the effect this has on children. It is often in regard to the behaviour of those children, especially in education… Continue reading

    Boys and their Abused Dads