Healing
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When I got triggered by something a few weeks ago I went into a bit of a spiral. Downwards. And I forgot. My mind went into overdrive The words, fears and punishments from my childhood got relived into my present. Thats what trauma, childhood trauma, any trauma feels like. Mind whirlwind. Anxiety. Thinking. Over thinking.…
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What does it mean to ‘let go’? What does letting go mean, when the damage has been so great – from people who are supposed to be anything but this? I thought I had let go of them, one time, but I was running away scared Ran away as far as I could – geographically…
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I had built it up over the weekend, tried to put it off, thought it, over thought it, woke up thinking about it, not been able to sleep thinking about if its the right decision was about to make. Then I realised that it wasnt that it was about the ‘right decision’ It was about…
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Love will find a way To tell you something is wrong, With your heart. Love will find a way To show you what is hurting, With your heart. Love will find a way To break the barriers, Surrounding your heart. Love will find a way To keep persisting with you, From your heart. Love will…
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I wonder – does ‘grief-guilt’ exist? Not the ‘I should have done this’ ‘ I could have prevented something happening’ kind of guilt – when there is grief – a bit like this But more, like , that feeling when you’re expected by other people to feel grief for the loss of something – and…
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Maybe each day you should just go for a walk Said my friend who I was staying with after leaving the family home in the midst of my breakdown. By myself? I thought? Without a purpose? Just a walk? Not just ‘walk the dog’ or walk to a place, or walk to get to something…
James Ballantyne 